Dani Pedrosa Fan Fiction #1: Dani Pedrosa and the Philosopher’s Honda

Well, we asked for it and surprisingly, you’ve provided it – well at least one of you has. A man (we presume) known as “Dirty Hand Towel” according to his email address, has sent in this Harry Potter inspired piece of Dani Pedrosa fan fiction. As ”Dirty Hand Towel” put in the effort, we thought we’d put in some effort and create a banner, for what can only become the most popular series on the internet. A new dark niche on the internet has just been born.

We need more, we’ll literally put anything up you send us, and if we keep this up we can probably drum up enough content for an anthology and get it printed………..maybe.

Entry one into the world of Dani Pedrosa fan fiction:

Dani Pedrosa and the Philosopher’s Honda:

Dani Pedrosa from Repsol House was nervous – today was the day that he would be racing his Repsol broomstick at his home event in the magical country of Spain, a strange land where bulls chased muggles down cobbled streets, and a curse known only as ‘Siesta’ caused muggles to fall asleep every afternoon for a few hours. He was so nervous he’d hardly slept and had to get up in the night to do 5 trips to the toilet, when normally he only usually needed 2. He’d set the alarm in his enchanted motorhome to go off at 6:30am, which in hindsight seemed pointless as he nearly always woke up automatically at 6:29am anyway. The nerves and the stress were clearly getting to him.

Wizard Puig had recently told him that he needed to improve his results otherwise he might be in danger of losing his Repsol Broomstick to his arch-rival Jorge from Yamaha House. Their rivalry was so intense that last time they met only the ‘Grand Wizard and King of Spain’ had the power to make them shake hands. Young Dani hadn’t wanted to shake Jorge’s hand that day, but Dani had got his own back by vigoriously rubbing his palm between his bum-cheeks before handing it to Jorge. Jorge had never found out.

Race time came quickly and young Dani was sat on the grid with all the other riders and broomsticks. Dani had qualified in 4th place and his rival Jorge from Yamaha House was on pole position. Jorge turned around and winked at Dani before putting his visor down. Dani was furious, but tried not to let it show – Dani was keen to use his new spell that he’d recently perfected that ensured he got off the line quickest. “That will shut Yamaha House up” though Dani with a smirk.

Race time: The lights went off and Dani chanted “Honda Speedus Maximus”. The spell worked again; there was an explosion and like a rocket Dani’s broomstick shot to the front of the pack. “Take that Jorge, you little prick” thought Dani as his sped past him.

After 18 laps Dani was still winning. “Wizard Puig” will let me stay up late tonight as treat Dani thought as he leant into the final turn of lap 18. Suddenly Jorge from Yamaha House appeared on the inside of Dani and took the lead. Dani was furious, nobody can overtake there it’s impossible, and then Dani realised that the senior ‘Yamaha Wizard’ known as Valentino must have taught young Jorge a new trick or spell. Young Dani chased hard but still couldn’t quite catch Jorge from Yamaha House. The laps were ticking away and each time he passed the pits Dani could see Wizard Puig furiously pointing to some letters on Dani’s pit board.

A new spell! That’s what Wizard Puig was pointing at, of course. Dani could now make out the letters as both broomstick riders went past on the final lap.

Young Dani decided to wait until the very last moment to cast his spell, he knew what he had to do. Jorge was right in front of him, all other broomstick riders were 5 seconds behind and wouldn’t be affected by the spell. On the final turn Dani chanted “HIGHSIDE MAXIMUS”. Jorge’s broomstick suddenly shook and bucked him off the broomstick and high into the air. He did a somersault and landed face first in the dirt and even above the roar of his Repsol Honda Broomstick, Dani could hear Jorge’s ankles break. Jorge’s Yamaha Broomstick, now with no rider and totally out of control, swerved off the track, crashed through the safety barrier and ploughed through a crowd of innocent muggles causing horrific death and injury.

“He’ll get fined for that” thought Dani with a smile as he powered his Repsol Broomstick over the finish line in first place.

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There you have it, the bar has been set. It might be low, but nonetheless it’s clearly been set.

SEND US MORE, NO MATTER HOW SHORT, LONG, TERRIBLE, etc….:

If you have written some Dani Pedrosa Fan Fiction, or if you are Dani Pedrosa and wish to complain, then email us at: motogpworldnet@googlemail.com

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